This is a Native American fable:
The grandfather says to his grandson, “There are two wolves fighting inside me. One is the wolf of love and peace and one is the wolf of fear and war.”
The grandson asks, “Which one will win?”
And the grandfather answers, “The one I feed.”
Which one do you feed? Love and peace, or fear and war?
Anything less than a conscious commitment to love and peace is an unconscious commitment to fear and war. When the challenges and choices of daily life arise, are you able to consciously commit to love or do you feed your fears?
Let’s contemplate about two common family issues – the picky eater and the destroyer. Nearly every family has one to varying degrees. How do we unconsciously feed the fear?
- Comparing – She isn’t eating enough.
- Conforming- I want her to eat what everyone else is eating.
- Competing – Her sister eats better.
- Perfecting – Just a little more; you can’t possibly be full.
- Performing – Thank you for eating for me.
- Pleasing – If you eat one bite, you’ll make me so happy.
Look at all the fear associated with food. It sure doesn’t make me want to eat. In fact, it works in exact contrast to its intention. This fear and its associated feelings create a subconscious path between fear and food. Depending on the degrees of reinforcement, it is easy to see why there are so many unhealthy attachments to food.
How would love respond to the picky eater? Love encourages mindful eating habits.
- Mindful eating is for the nourishment of our body, mind, and spirit.
- Mindful eating is not for entertainment or intoxication.
- Mindful eating respects where the food came from and how it came to our table.
- Mindful eating recognizes I am what I eat.
Love does not need our children to clean their plates, eat the same as every one else, or even eat a variety of foods. We can love our children enough to set an example, educate them about mindful eating, and trust they will choose to nourish their bodies best with the choices presented.
What about “The Destroyer?” How do we unconsciously feed the fear of destruction?
- Comparing – You are bigger than him.
- Competing – You can so beat him.
- Conforming – You should be like him.
- Perfecting – Give it more; don’t let him win now.
- Pleasing – You make me so proud.
- Performing – Win this game, and I’ll buy you a new iTouch.
How would love respond to the destroyer? Love encourages creating more and consuming less. Much of the destroyer’s behavior is the acting out of the insatiable, unconscious drive to consume.
- Creators see the best and highest potential in their children.
- Creators model creative constructive behavior.
- Create what you want instead of destroying what others have, to build yourself up. (Lead and your children will follow).
- Create your own power instead of trying to take other’s. Consuming is insatiable because it perpetually reinforces powerlessness. Creating internalizes personal power. (Lead and your children will follow).
- Love empowers others by creating an environment for constructive behavior.
This blog post is for contemplation and conversation. It is not a guilt trip or a judgement. We have all contributed to the collective unconsciousness of fear. And, today is a new day. We are increasing our awareness with action. We are rasing our consciousness because we want something more for our chidren. More love and less fear.
Are not both behaviors manifestations of our beliefs about consumption? Are our children trying to teach us what we need to change in ourselves? Consider a new paradigm: The more I take; the less I become. The more I give, the more I become.
Attacking the behavior is fear-based. It may be efficient for immediate results, and yet never effective for sustaining long-term results. And focusing on the behavior will only attract more of the same. We must plant a new seed to grow a new flower. Happy kids grow from the seeds of love.
Cultivating Love & Peace,