Due to the significance of trust, I broke down the practical application into two parts. The first was the indirect ways we build trust – through our integrity, respect, transparency, and correcting our wrongs. This is Part II of the two-part series on increasing your child’s trust account through conscious parenting. In both parts, the underlying principle is live your highest values and trust will resonate.
In the Speed of Trust, Covey suggests that “trust is the one that changes everything.” Research found that high trust organizations are three times more profitable. I believe these principles can be applied to the family and reap the same benefits. Consider every time you offer trust, a performance multiplier; every breech of trust, a tax. Trust is a key ingredient to a successful family and a life of plenty.
Building your child’s trust account is a Quadrant 2 activity, important and non-urgent. On the risk-benefit matrix, trust is considered a high risk and low cost/great benefit. This is where we want to invest our time and energy for the greatest rate of return. Here are a few parenting tools that can be used directly to plant, restore, and grow trust in our relationships among the family. Look for these opportunities to grow trust in your family life:
- Fear-breaking activities together – Because we are one whole person, building physical trust increases our mental trust. Try out a blind-folded obstacle course, jumping from a high dive, rock wall climbing or any other physical challenge that requires trust.
- Risk-taking as a family, where unconditional acceptance is known. The ungame for children, charades, and Wii dance are family-friendly activities which allow an opportunity to share true feelings and talents in a safe context.
- Create together, where potential is celebrated. Check out the local arts & recreation centers for ideas, including art, pottery, and cooking.
- Extend trust to your children and spouse. Tell your daughter about a secret dream you have. Allow your three year-old to use the glass cup at dinner tonight.
- Be Trustworthy. Let them witness your gift of kindness to a stranger. Check your gossip – honor the absent in your conversations (on the phone, with your spouse, etc.).
The best proof of love is trust. ~ Dr. Joyce Brothers
And you know what keeps us from trusting more – fear, not love. Fear of…failure, loss, rejection, the unknown…creep in and keep us from trust and living true to our highest values. As you begin to take these mindful steps of trust, look at your source of thinking – love versus fear. Conscious parenting offers us opportunities to trust and love with our whole-heart.
- Trust yourself to make a decision and have peace of mind.
- Offer authenticity to a dear friend and gain endearment.
- Give an honest answer to your daughter’s question and see respect in her eyes.
- Correct a wrong with your spouse and feel love.
- Show yourself credible to the family tonight and know integrity.
Trust encourages more integrity, authenticity, courage, consistency, congruency, respect, and transparency. In other words, trust challenges us to live true to our highest values. Trust is the simplest way to demonstrate your unconditional love, and the best overdraft protection for your child’s emotional bank account. Invest in trust today and reap the immense dividends in every area of your life.
♣ What could you do today to plant trust in your relationship? Go ahead…give trust a try.