To give your child everything she wants this year, assumes you know what she wants. I believe we often make assumptions about what our children want based on either our own current agenda of what we believe makes an ideal parent or child, or based on our past agenda of what we believe we were denied in our childhood. I suggest that both are hindering and blocking us from fulfilling our desire to give our children everything they want, and deserve.
Operating from our agenda for the sake of our children would be like planting strawberries in the winter just because they are our favorite fruit and we want to enjoy them now. We must honor and recognize each child is a unique fruit. Each child is a hybrid of her parents and by probability more different than similar to any siblings. Each must be planted according to her own care instructions.
Let me suggest that there are only 4 things your child truly wants:
1. The gift of presence. This is present moment time. It is living in the now. Children appreciate the moment, the here and now. They don’t fret over yesterday or worry about tomorrow. They just want to be with you, creating and experiencing the world together, right now.
We may only have tonight…swing to the rhythm of love.- Plain White T’s
2. An act of unconditional service. This is freely doing with no strings attached. Not a prize, reward, or reinforcement – Just Because. It is acting out of love and respect for the person she is.
3. The grace of conversation. This is honoring the child for his individual talents and contributions. This is offering the openness of your heart and allowing reciprocity. This is authentic affirmation, praise, and respect.
4. The awe of oneness. This is the feeling of love and peace when we connect with the universe and our true self. It may come in the form of touch, nature, closeness, peace. It is available for the asking at all times, we may just need to be facilitators to help our children allow it into their lives.
Everything else is extra, peripheral to her heart’s deepest wants. Consider any resistance in your relationship with your child and see if you can re-align with what she really wants. Listen to your children. They will tell you what they want, and what they don’t need. We must trust them to tell us, practice consciousness, and be receptive to their individual care instructions.
Cultivating Love & Peace,