Can you guess whose life purpose this is: To Spread Love & Laughter? This could be the purpose of a priest who adds comic relief with a ventriloquist show for children at the end of each mass. This could be the purpose of a circus clown of Cirque du Soleil. Or, this could be the purpose of a stay-at-home mom of three. It is not what you do; it is how you do it that matters. This is your individual contribution to the world. This is the cool thing: you get to give your life its meaning – not me, not your children, all you. You get the privilege to create the meaning in your life, to find the sacred in the ordinary.
A friend, wonderful mother, and so-journer has requested some contemplation and conversation regarding finding “meaning” and “purpose” in life once children are in school full day. She is trying to make a choice about re-entering the workplace.
This is my contemplation for decision making on this matter:
- What is your purpose? Serving others is your purpose. Paid or unpaid is your prerogative. Before you get a “job” because you think you are suppose to, consider this: 1. Do you “need” the money? Remember to separate needs from wants. 2. Will you and the family be “better” for it? Emotionally, physically, spiritually, as well as financially?
- How do you find your greatest contribution? Your greatest contribution lies at the intersection of your talents and others’ needs. Others may be your family, your school, your church, your town, a non-profit organization, the needy, a personal cause, etc.
- What is the goal in your meaningful work? The goal of a Life Entrepreneur is a 0-Hour Workweek. This is loving what you do and doing what you love. And, not working for the sake of work or solely for financial gain.
- What is the Risk-Benefit of returning to the workplace? Weigh the Risk versus Cost-Benefit for decision making. Quadrant 2 is effective management and leverage of your resources. These matters are of high risk and low cost or great benefit.
- What are you saying yes to? What are you saying no to? The Gift of No is saying yes to something else. What is the cost of your work, the exchange for life you will garner?
- What aspect of consciousness may be blocked or unfulfilled? We have 7 aspects of consciousness – purpose, creativity, influence, love, authenticity, trust, connectedness. Life Entrepreneurs have open and accessible aspects of consciousness.
It is my personal belief that too many moms sell themselves short. We cannot put a dollar value on maintaining our blessings and our values. Much of the pressure to do more and earn more is a sell-out to the matrix of fear. Love does not have to achieve, accomplish, accumulate, compare, compete, conform, please, perform, or perfect. Love is enough. This is not to say we don’t have necessities to meet or that we can’t be financially successful. It is not an either-or. The point is to be working from love, not fear. Which is the motive for questioning if you should re-enter the workplace – love or fear?
One major advantage to the non-paid workplace is less stress and more flexibility which allows the family to be the first priority on sick days, snow days, field trip days, Mother’s Day Breakfast, Assembly Days, and all the other special days you want to be a part of. Remember, it is your choice to return or not return to the workplace. Please don’t choose to work and then use victim language about your decision. Instead of “I have to work,” the correct terminology is “I choose work.” Instead of “I can’t do that today,” it is “I am choosing work today.”
One major advantage to the paid workplace is, well, it’s paid. Some Life Entrepreneur Moms are able to create a paid purpose through accessing the 7 aspects of consciousness. Maybe you have a strong need for creativity and authenticity, or influence and connectedness. Work that meets these needs is a conscious choice for your re-entry to the workplace.
This is not a judgment on moms who choose to work outside the home. I hope all moms have worked through the same conscious contemplative decision making process. Conscious parenting is a choice to lead with love and maintain the needs of the family at heart. Just like purpose, it will look different in every person.
Dear friend, I hope this serves you well and you are able to find peace in your decision, loving what you do and doing what you love.
How have you created meaningful work in your life outside of the home, in paid or non-paid ways?
Cultivating Love & Peace,